A Place For The Future Past

Staying the Course
April 30, 2006, 8:28 pm
Filed under: Fun on the Road

JoAnne here.

Without a doubt the hardest part of this journey has got to be finding the discipline necessary to continue in the face of adversity, setbacks, or just plain no news. I spoke with Maria a couple of days ago, who reported back that there was nothing new to report. Not bad news, but not good news either. Add to that dealing with time-sucking crisises like plumbing (fixed now — more or less, temporary at best), lost car keys, slow work week, unplanned expenses (truck needed $200 of maintenance work) and first of the month responsibilities (shop rent, mortgage, horse board, etc) and I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. It’s alot for one person to handle.

Sure, I employ all the usual hunt-for-the-silver-lining tricks (good thing I bought that truck three days before losing car keys, good thing I’ve got the truck for hauling water, etc, etc) but there are times when it can be oh-so-overwhelming.

The old mantra of “It will SO be worth it in the end” falters at times, under the overpowering doubts and stress associated with keeping everything juggling and ready to go at a moments notice. Clients to sew for, meals to plan, bills to pay — as well as large chores that are too large to handle all at once — endlessly loom before me. Huge tasks — such as barn cleaning — must be done a little every day, until they are done and set aside, ready to turn and tackle the next one.

It’s a pleasant diversion to pull out the plans for the Project, except for the frustration of the delay in the process which is often stronger than the pleasure of planning. Life has taught me, through bitter experience, not to invest in fantasy. Or, not to invest more than I can afford to waste. And these days, waste is a dirty word.


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